Newlywed secrets

Posted: April 15, 2012 in Men vs Women
Tags: , , , , , ,

   A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a physical problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. “Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”

   His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?” “Oh yes, very much,” he said, “but you see, I have very smelly feet and I’m afraid that my fiancée will be put off by them.” “No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible and always wear socks, even to bed.” Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

   Meanwhile, the bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to discuss her problem up with her mom.” Mom,” she said, “When I wake up in the morning, my breath is truly awful.” “Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.” “No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiancée will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

   Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed and head for the kitchen to make breakfast. While he is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word to hime until after you’ve brushed your teeth.” “I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked. “Not a word,” her mother affirmed. “Well, it’s certainly worth a try,” she thought.

   The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, for about six months. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without even thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you looking for?”

“Oh, my No!,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”

Of weddings, church, and funerals

Morning breath

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