Men vs. women in points of view

Posted: April 16, 2012 in Cars, Kids, Men vs Women
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

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   In many ways, it’s obvious that men and women are different. But there are subtle differences as well. For instance, women sit and walk with their elbows tucked in, men sit and walk with elbows out.

   If you ask a woman to ‘look at her nails,’ she will hold her hand with the back-side up; fingers pointed straight out to see how her nails look compared to each other, and in the overall presentation of hands, fingernails, rings, and bracelets. When you ask a man to ‘look at his nails,’ he will hold his hand palm-up, curling the fingers back to examine the length, cleanliness, and evenness of the nails. When it comes to many subjects, men and women simply have different points of view:

   Nicknames:

– If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other ‘Laura’, ‘Kate’ and ‘Sarah’.
– If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as ‘Fatz’, ‘Moe’ and ‘Dingle’.

   Lunch:

– When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in a $20, even though the bill is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and no one will admit they want change back.
– Laura, Kate and Sarah each carry a pocket calculator and a purse full of pennies for such occassions.

   Shopping:

– John will pay $2.oo for a $1.oo item that he needs.
– Sarah will pay $1.oo for a $2.oo item that she doesn’t need, but is on sale.

   Clothing:

– If Laura and Kate wear the same dress to a party, one of them will slip into the restroom and remove their hem or cut the sleeves off, to differentiate themselves. Either way, Laura and Kate will hate each other for months.
– If Mike and Dave wear the same shirt to a party, they will hug and laugh, and joke to everyone that they are really twins separated at birth.

   Vanity items:

– Dave has six items in his bathroom: 1) toothbrush, 2) toothpaste, 3) shaving cream, 4) razor, 5) a comb, and 6) a bar of soap.
– Kate has a least 40 items in the bathroom that she can’t live without. This includes such things as blush brushes in four different firmnesses, an articulated eyelash curler, and both hair-curling and hair-straightening irons. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

   Arguments:

– A woman must have the last word in any argument.
– Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

   The future:

– A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
– A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

   Success:

– A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
– A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

   Automobiles:

– A man describes a car by year, make, model, trim level, horsepower, torque, and top speed.
– A woman describes a car by color.

   Marriage:

– A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
– A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

   Cleaning up:

– A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
– A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, or get the mail.

   Natural beauty:

– A light beard and mussed hair make a man look ‘rugged’.
– A light beard and mussed hair make a woman look old.

   Children:

– A woman knows all about her children. She knows their bithdays, their next dentist appointment, their best friends, their romances, their favorite foods, their secret fears, and their hopes and dreams.
– A man is aware of some short people living in the house and making noise.

   Closing thought:
– A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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Why men don’t write advice columns

Questions and answers about women

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