The woman on the hospital phone said, “Hello, darling. I’d like to talk with someone who can give me information regarding one of your patients. The patient’s name is Ms. Margaret Greene and she’s in room 116. She was admitted two days ago when she fell and injured her hip. Dr. Burke performed surgery on her at five o’clock this morning, and I have yet to hear the outcome. But, I don’t need to know if the patient is just getting better, or doing as well as expected, or worse than expected. I need to know all the information on the patient’s condition, treatment plan, and prognosis, from top to bottom, A to Z!”
The nurse answering on the other end of the line said, “That’s a very unusual request… What did you say is the patient’s name and room number, again?”
She said, ‘Yes, darling! The patient’s name is Ms. Margaret Greene in room 116, her patient i.d. number is A3674, and her birth date is the 4th of April, 1946.”
The Nurse looked through the charts. “Greene, Greene. Let me see. Grant… Grayson… Greene. Oh, yes, here is her chart. Mrs. Greene is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals since her surgery, her blood pressure is fine and stable, her blood work just came back and all indicators are normal, she’s got a good white cell, and her iron and calcium levels are acceptable. She’s not requested any pain medication and she’s due to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours. Dr. Burke says the surgery went well, it was a textbook procedure and there was not much damage to repair. He suggests that she put light pressure on her hip this evening, and if she is able to walk, that she make a circuit of the nurse’s ward. He believes her condition will continue to improve, and he plans to release her after he makes his rounds Tuesday at twelve o’clock.”
The woman on the phone said, “That’s fabulous! Oh, thank you so much! So what I’m hearing is that her tests came back normal, she’s getting off the heart machine in a couple of hours, and she is being released tomorrow at twelve o’clock! I’m so happy to hear that! That’s wonderful news! Thank you.”
The nurse on the phone said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very dear friend.”
The woman replied, “I’m neither a close family member nor a very dear friend. I’m Margaret Greene in room 116. Dr. Burke tells me nothing.”
Well, Aren't You Funny? 