Trouble on Facebook

I love Facebook.     My wife hates it.

   My favorite thing about using Facebook is that I get to practice my evil preponderance for sarcasm in response to posts by friends from all over the U.S.

   For example, in a recent post on Facebook, Jessica uploaded a picture of herself after she fell asleep during a Youth Group overnight trip. Her eyes and nose are covered with black permanent-ink marker, her mouth and cheeks are outlined with red dry-erase marker, and her nose is painted a bright green. In the comment field she posted, “What do you think of my new look?” To which I respond, “What’s different?… oh, a little more mascara.”

or this ditty:

   Amanda’s post which leads herself wide open: “Dang, I forgot to buy a broom while I was out.” Which leads me to respond, “Why do you need a broom? Your car not running?“

   A while back, my wife went out of town. The next morning, I get on Facebook like I normally do, and I see a simple post from a female co-worker saying: “It’s 3:00 a.m. I can’t sleep, guess I’ll clean my house.” Innocent enough.

   Instantly, I think of the old clichés: “What are you doing?” “Washing my car.” “You can come wash mine when you’re done!” or “What are you doing?” “Mowing my yard.” “You can mow mine next!” Not very original, but sometimes you need to pay homage to the classics – so I post a response, “Come clean my house…“

I wasn’t prepared to handle what happened next. This simple four-word phrase opened up a whole world of tongue-lashings and verbal abuse from my wife, her family, and her friends that read this post and deemed it totally inappropriate.

then one final post:

• Tammy: “I’ll see you when I get home.”

 
 

I hate Facebook.